I had the privledge recentently , of experiencing a rather intersesting encounter with a job/career related situation. I say privledge because it allowed me to observe not only my own behavior but also the person to whom I was speaking. I'll begin by stating that this "person" called me for a position that needed to be filled immediately and that I was indeed available for the time and dates needed, so I sent my resume, bio ,etc and of course my fee.
All was agreed upon and good to go until the ill-fated phonecall ....da duuhnn...(que music)....the conversation began with all of the approporaite niceties and such, but, as the conversation began to turn to the "interview " process ..it clearly and quickly changed tone and focus ... This "person" was hiring me for a specific reason based on my experience,training and knowledge.
As the conversation progressed this "person" was adamant about the way in which they wanted me to do my job, I said implicitily that I would'nt do X, Y and/or Z as I am not willing to forgo my teaching ethics or be party to a possibility of injury to student or students...what ensued within this conversation was this verbal browbeating and manipulation that this "person" kept insisting upon wanting me to do exactly as they wished not was I was being hired to do.
Again , this "person" was getting more and more aggravated with me because I would'nt succomb to their "ways or wishes" ..I stayed my ground...the passive agrressiveness, verbal manipulation and browbeating ensued with various subtle put-downs etc...again, I held my ground... I was by no means "intimidated " by this display of immaturity.
I waited until the hyper -verbal incessant nonsense was done .....ahh, finally , a break in the non sensical innsessant chatter ..... I then, calmly stated that ..I think I'm going to pass on this job , it sounds to me like you need someone who is willing to do exactly what YOU want them to do NOT What they do best, I said , quite frankly, Im not comfortable with the way in which your're speaking to me, so I am going to Pass , but thank you for calling and contacting me ..have a lovely day .
You'd think that was the end...Yes?
Oh No,,,this "person" kept the conversation going by further trying to justify their decision to me with further subtle put-downs, more verbal manipulation and browbeating ...again I held my ground...... and I said "im sure you need to make decisons based on you staying true to the integrity of your business , just as I am making a proffessional decison by staying true to the integrity of my teaching philosophies and ethics , I wish you the best and again,thank you for contacting me, have a lovely day.
So my point in all of this is...that this "person" actually gave me a gift....a gift of self observation....truth be told had this occurred a year ago I would have verbally blasted this person and told them emphatically where to go..and what they can do when they get there etc..... but I didn't .. I allowed this person to speak, say what they needed to say,......and I truly listened ,Then I responded appropraitely ...
Why ? you ask ,would I allow a person to speak to me that way ?
I will tell you why...because it had NOTHING TO DO WITH ME ....... I attribute the calmness to my yoga practice and yes maturity/wisdom has something to do with that.... but also being PRESENT... In the NOW!!
and at the crux of all of this is in the KNOWING....knowing yourself well enough know what your'e willing to do and not do , what your'e willing to accept or not accept and there is no right or wrong here it just IS!!
So take the time to really know yourself ... observation, awareness and acceptance
peace love and light